We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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