Dual....:-)
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
