Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
