I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just gift wrapped bread.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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