She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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