Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just had sex bonerless
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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