My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
