it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
