Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize