I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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