I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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