If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
