youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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