Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize