So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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