i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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