That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize