no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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