i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
