Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
