watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
