i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
