The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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