It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
