Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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