kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
