I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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