Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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