i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
