i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
