im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
be right there i have to get my cape
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize