I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
