I didn't shave. On purpose
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
