i think my mom watched the whole time
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
