What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
