is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
