Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
