There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
