Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
