There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
