We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
