I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
