No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sacagawea was the original milf.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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