my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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