She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
