maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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