he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize