New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize