I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
