I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Your cock deserves a montage
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
