She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
are you so shy because you have an std?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
