I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we made out on top of his cat.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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