Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
