My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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