she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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