i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
