apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
