Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
