u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
