Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
