she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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